Gold

You know, being in a relationship really makes this whole God thing click some more.

It really does.

I mean, the simple pleasures of holding her hand or laughing until I cry, or simply being with her are spectacular and it makes me think I understand God's love for me. But the incredibly beautiful thing is that any love in my heart pales in comparison to God's love for me.

Think about it. If I think it is so awesome to spend time with her, try to fathom the magnitude in which God takes pleasure in simply being with me.

Think about it this way: God is the creator of hate, and he hates what he hates more passionately than any other being because, as the creator of hate, he knows the full magnitude of what hatred can consist of.

Thank God he doesn't hate us.

In fact, you can just replace all of those hates with loves.

So in short, no matter how passionately I may ever think I love somebody,
God's love ultimately will be a million times more intense.

Anyways, I was not writing this for the sake of making some sappy thing.
I hate that sort of thing.

I am actually being serious, though. I was thinking about it recently.
I really think God really made marriage a metaphor with our relationship with him.
It gives us an slight idea of how he feels about us.

I was just making some connections, really.

I hope that made sense and you were not like:
Seriously? I Do not want to read about your friggin girlfriend.

Jonathan

Trust

God has been consistently intentional about telling me one thing this semester:

Trust him to have a plan.

Seriously, in the past week alone I can think of three encounters with people pointing me that way.
Aaron had a talk on it, Jake and I talked about it, and Chelsea today was talking about God having a plan in her life.

It is kind of crazy really.
In two ways:
1. How faithful he has been.
2. How unfaithful I have been.

I am not perfect, but I am working on it.

Really trust is the theme of my semester.
I have been working on figuring out my purpose in this speck of time I have on a place I call Earth.

I have it narrowed down to two things so far...
1. Live for God everyday.
2. Trust that he will do something with your life.


Sorry I blog so much. This is just kind of my journal, so I have been
really trying to document all of this the best I can.

”And if I saw that star
Shining bright
Walking at night
You know I’d run as fast as I can

And I’d send you a clue
Of what to do
So you won’t feel
Like I do”
You & I by The Cobalt Season

I kind of want to play this at Altaer sometime for moment of truth maybe.

Everything

There is this song that goes like:
Let everything that has breath praise the lord.

That song comes from Psalm 150.


Here is everything it says to praise God for:
1. For his acts of power
2. For his surpassing greatness

Here is everything it says to praise God with:
1. Praise him with trumpets
2. Praise him with harps and lyres
3. Praise him with tambourines
4. Praise him with dancing
5. Praise him with Strings
6. Praise him with Flutes
7. Praise him with Cymbals

I think the point is that Gods glory and power is enough to offer him everything we have,
whether it is music or dancing or painting or through humility, etc.

Let everything that has breath praise the lord.

Jonathan

Begin

I felt like I came so far.
I really did.

But now I am back to the same square one.

Trusting God is hard. It really is.

Preachers make it out to be easier than it is.

They always talk about how God has a bigger
picture than I do, while in the meanwhile I
feel like I am stuck in a dark hole.

It is funny how ideas feel much softer than reality.

I am not mad at God or anything.
I just wish I had a clue sometimes.

There was a point where I came far from
trusting God and not feeling so hopeless in everything.

Crazy how one day can push me back months.
Crazy how pulling one card can put me back three spaces.

And giving a round three at college did not really help, either.

I actually felt more alone than I have in a while.

I realized that I do not have any mentors who did/is doing the college thing
who is not great academically. What was really scary was when I turned to God
on that one, I had to realize that he knows everything :P
Nobody.

I was talking to Kelsey, and she asked me if I actually trusted if God has a purpose for me.

I do.
I just am not sure if I will find it.

Actually. That is it.
It is not a thing of college necessarily. I just want to do what God wants me to do, which
could be one of three trillion things and I have it narrowed down to one of 99% of those things being it.

I do not really write these for the sake of you guys reading about my problems.
I mean I am open about it, but I hope you do not think I am just rambling for the sake of rambling.
I really am just trying to organize my thoughts and I type faster than I journal.
Although I not mind if you care :P

Jonathan

Formality

Gotta be honest, I have never been crazy about the idea of formality.

It always seems so fake.
Even if nobody is trying to, it seems to turn out that way.

I mean, I am not saying its bad necessarily, I just personally cannot stand it.

I cant see any real reason why somebody would dress in a suit besides
the fact that you are wearing it to show how much money you have.
It isn't comfortable nor does it keep you warm.

Girls are different because they like to look what they call nice.
I dont get what nice really is because it is all opinion really.
Nobody can look nice to everybody, so why not just stand on equal terms for once?
Too bad that will never happen.
We all want to be better than everyone else.
I dont see how I am much better than anyone else.


I really hope I never get caught up in the corporate world and in
the fancy lifestyle. That would be a sad day really.

I dont really know why I signed up for the Formal, honestly.
I cant do it.
Haha, I cried after prom last year, the whole thing kills me so much.
Actually, I was going to go, but I just wasn't feeling great, and then the
girls got to talking about it all during lunch. It all felt so gross.
"I cant wear that mom! I wont look pretty enough!"
Crap like that makes me want to slap people sometimes.

Not saying that I am perfect and am not selfish, etc...far from.
I just try to see things with the most transparency I can.

I hope you all had fun, though! I really do.

Anyways, I do not need comments about how it isn't all bad, ect. because I know it all.
I am just being opinionated.
I feel like Holden from Catcher in the Rye sometimes, if you've ever read it.

"So this promise I will make, I pray God will help me keep, is that I will live simply so that others may simply live."
-One Life by Jake Sumner

Jonathan

Worship

I just got back from Shift.
I love it there, not gunna lie.

But sometimes I wonder if they know what worship is.
Tonight I began to wonder what it was or why we do it.
What it really means.

I went into the recording studio after worship to ponder it all,
when Trevor came in. We started talking about life etc. and he
ended up showing me a song he wrote.

Really beautiful stuff.

I loved the idea of it.
The chorus was something like:
How could you ever be good to me?

Anyways, it hit a lot on that, and went on to say that
it is why we gather to worship him.

That we do not deserve his love but he loves us anyways.
That is why we worship him.

It was cool how I was sidetracked from thinking about some stuff only to have it all placed in a beautifully written song performed before me.

I love how God works.

Jonathan

Messes

I may not be perfect, but I try to make each day worth it, and
I really to try to live it for God. Some days turn out better than others.


And in the evenings I wonder if I made a mess
Something bigger than a man could ever accept
Can’t be the person that I wanted to be
But I never was just okay with me

Now the days are gone for the lookin’ around
Now I just keep eyes to the ground
With a little bit of hope that things could change
Though I’m still not sure what to rearrange

Cause it hides in my pocket, refuses to be seen
This glimmer of all I hope and dream
So I’ll pray to God that I’m livin’ right
And know that nothin’ good ever comes without a fight

The Coming of Age By The Cobalt Season