I can hardly see what's in front of me these days...and in those days, too

What now?

I guess things are kind of crazy right now.

And by crazy, I mean today's the first day in forever I haven't done anything.

Anyways.

I've been kind of confused with things right now. But that's nothing new.

Since Costa(read the post below if you care about it) I've been trying to figure out

what's next. I sort of have an idea that it has something to do with my relationship with God kind of transitioning from this thing where it's more based on  how I feel to serving God despite how I feel because he's God and worth serving.

But I'm not sure if that's exactly where I'm heading or if that's just a side quest of somewhere else I'm heading that I don't really know about right now.

Does that make sense?

          Because I'm not so sure it makes sense to me either...

-Jonathan

(Bye the way, I've been getting these pictures from Deviant Art-they're not mine)

Costa Rica - The Aftermath

What to say...

This was not the feel good trip of the year.

But it was worth it.

Even when I felt like crap singing songs to God.

  Even when I tossed and turned in my bed emotionally troubled.

  Even when I was stressed about song sets and setting up sound systems.

Because:

I was worthless and now have worth.

And I could share that.

I was hopeless and now have hope.

And I could share that.

If something in my testimony hit somebody and pointed them in the direction of God...

The whole trip was worth it.

If a song I played helped lead somebody into true worship for the first time...

The whole trip was worth it.

If all God needed me to do this whole time was help Ivan smile...

The whole trip was more than worth it.

The point is that I was there to shine God.

No matter how I was feeling emotionally.

I always had knowledge that my relationship with God shouldn't be based on emotions. But God took the time on this trip to push it further away from me basing on that. Not saying emotions are bad-they're quite wonderful actually. It's just not something solid to base my relationship with God  off of.

On a lighter note:

Costa Rica is beautiful.

-The grass was greener.

-The trees were perfectly imperfect

-Every overtone the sun gave off was exactly what it should be.

-The beach, even when gloomy, was beautifully erie.

-And when the sky full of clouds met the incredible mountains...

Need I say more?

If you want stories you cab call me or talk to me in person.

But those were my feelings if you were wondering.