Oh Mask, How You Hide

Oh mask how you hide

my sins while I turn a blind eye

to all the wrongs I have done

denying who I have become

Oh, let this become the last masquerade

 

It's been keeping us all in the dark

from the truth we've been hiding

about this dirty disgusting mark

Oh God, I'm tired of hiding

behind all this stupid rhyming...

It's time to be honest with who we are

and to stop prettying things up and hiding so far

from who we are and who we pretend to be...

-Jonathan

Sex-The Ultimate Spectator Sport?

If you know me well enough, you'll probably find out that I dealt

with porn for a few years. 

And if you didn't know that, you do now.

Anyways, time to time I think about it again(not in that way). It's really kind of ridiculous if you think about it-the idea of watching two people go at because

you're not getting any. Not that I condone sex before marriage, but really.

It's kind of like this:

If you're going to jail for murder, it seems appropriate to go to jail for actually murdering instead of watching it all happen.

I guess that's kind of bad of me to say that, but it's kind of true I think.

The point is that porn is just kind of ridiculous but it's basically the number one 

spectator sport ever-it makes up about 97% of everything on the internet. And the internet is friggin huge. And that's really depressing to me...Some guy buying himself something less than what it could be. Or herself? That's apparently bigger than I initially thought.

All this to say-

Don't be like me...

                                 when it comes to that.

-Jonathan

God Oh, God-you look so sad and beautiful...

Jesus Christ.

To be honest, sometimes I can't help but think of Buddy Jesus when

I hear the name like that in full. 

I shouldn't.

But the funny thing is that we throw Jesus around in that image.

As our super cool white Republican guy with curly locks and a beard that's BA like Chuck Norris's.  

Who honestly doesn't want to worship Chuck Norris?

But seriously.

I have to check to make sure I'm really worshiping Real Jesus.

Not Buddy Jesus. Not Theology Jesus. Not Jonathan's Jesus.

Anyways, it's pretty obvious stuff, but something

I was thinking about anyways.

I'm as heavy as a feather...hallelujah

I feel pretty decent right now.

  Not for one specific reason, but just a whole.

Xtreme VBS has been really cool just getting to be with some

crazy kids and trying to teach them to love their enemies.

I actually tell them to clap for the winning team if we lose or to clap

for everyone after they lose, so it's almost sarcastic, but I'm hoping that will

shine through somehow(And they're not pity claps!!!).

And of course I can't just wake up at 8 and spend all my energy by 12.

I have to use the rest of the energy  I don't have and keep myself busy with

friends and the like. 

   I don't like not being busy during the summer because I feel like I've waited all

year for Summer to do...absolutely nothing.

I had dinner with Radu today. I love Radu-he's a good guy.

I've been learning the importance of the Old Testament recently. Which is kind of ironic since I had just had a conversation recently about how I struggled with all the old laws if we weren't bound to it because we were under grace, etc.  

Carly did a talk on it like two days after I talked about it and like how Jesus didn't come to abolish the law but to fulfill it. 

Then I read Romans 3 and it talked about upholding the law.

God sketches me out when he gets all intentional on me.( And I mean that kind of sarcastically, but not really). But really, it's kind of neat.

Anyways, life has been good, and God (as always) remains the same.

Anyways, take care friends!

-Jonathan

I have a dream...

I've been thinking some about my future recently.

Which is weird for me.

So I kind of started imagining where I wanted to be or wanted to do.

I've had this dream of like living in a small house with my wife, and we'd 

be in a band together. When we were around the house we'd be writing music

together. I thought it would be like the perfect idea, you know. It would be a simple

lifestyle, I would do something I would love. It would be wonderful.

But the more I've thought about it, the more I've come to realize, maybe, that these

are just my dreams for myself. And maybe that's not a bad thing-maybe God gives me dreams so I have something to aspire to. But maybe, and I'm thinking more likely, this is my own dream as opposed to God's dream for me. Or God's plan-whatever word you want to use. You get what I'm saying though?

It's like, I shouldn't live for my own dream of what life should be. I'm supposed to give it up for the sake of my God's plan.

Just because I basically love the band, I'll quote mewithoutYou:

"My life is no longer mine"

Anyways, it's kind of exciting thinking about my future, but kind of scary also...

But God is faithful, and I know that.

I just don't always live like he really is.

Any thoughts are welcome if anybody thats reading this has any.

Either way it's nice to be able to write down my thoughts.

Bye the way, my dream would look something like The Cobalt Season mixed with the movie Once...

I highly recommend both.