Sigh

Let out a sigh of relief and know
that everything will end in tears.
Beautiful streaming tears flowing
down your lovely rosy cheeks
as you wonder your future outcome.

Through marching in the snow.
Through facing all your fears.
Through the pains of growing.
Through not being able to peek
at what is to come.

But these are not tears of sorrow
but of JOY!

Joy.

Because you were able to grow.
Because your God looks at you and cheers.
Because His grace is now flowing.
Because you were resilient enough to seek
out what He wanted you to become.

Let out a sigh of relief and know
that everything will end in tears
of joy.

Jonathan

Frustration

I feel like I have had a lot more peace over the past few weeks or so.
Obviously I am not perfect, but it has nice to remember what it feel like
to not be overwhelmed or bitter or hopeless.

But my parents decided to have a meeting with my counselor today at school after I asked them not to because of my F in math. Apparently they still have the technical course which would mean no math class for me next year, but it would boot me out of either Music Tech or Internship next year.

That seriously pisses me off!
At the beginning of my freshman year, I signed a little check box for that course and they blatantly told me to my face they did not offer it any more. Now three years later it has left me screwed in my current math class and next year because I will either knock off something that actually matters to me or be stuck in a math class I cannot handle.
All because they friggin lied to me.
Then people wonder why I am against our school system. They lie to increase their friggin school funding!

I trust that God has something for me in this, but it honestly does not really make me feel any less pissed right now.

Jonathan

Trying

I am still trying to trust you through this.

Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.
James 1:12 (Message)

Hope

There is a heart of such distress that I carry in this chest please reach out and caress in your pillowesque manner.

Front and center right here and right now I'm throwing in the towel I've committed too many fowls I've flown south.

My sprits turning sour I can't go through another hour, be my precious pretty pink petite flower that blooms in the night and leave me in the dark by your moonlight no more fight. I never fought anyone so I thought and now I'm here on these knees distraught.

Crying out to you pretty please, pretty please take this disease turning these insides brown my smile turns to frown and my breathe smells like death.

Because I am dead to life and alive to something I don't know that you would have me feel but this is for real and I need you right now, I need you right now.

So seal the deal with your stamp of regeneration and grow me up into a new creation taken from a tree and plucked from a vine, if it's my time to shine then shine your light on me so that everyone hurting can see that there is hope, hope in the seemingly endless valley full of rotten fruit left behind from previous troops that are now in your mountains drinking directly from your fountains, save me a spot I will be there sooner than not, I'm picking up the pace and slowly starting to trot.

Bradley Hathaway is awesome :)
Jonathan