Tired

I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired.
I've been waking up at 6 going to school 5 times a week.
I go to church at 7:30 for two weeks on and off(which I love).
I drove to Miami for 14 hours for vacation this week.
I've been going back and forth between different families for Thanksgiving.
I was up until 3:00 this morning hanging out with my cousins.
Tomorrow we're driving 6 hours to a hotel.
Then we'll be driving another 6 hours the next day.
Then I go to school the next day.

Anyways, I'm not saying this to rant or whatever, all I'm saying is that
sometimes I feel like I'm moving at a hundred miles an hour nonstop.

If you know much about me, you know that I hate wasting my life.
However, another part of me knows I need to rest sometimes.

I say all of this hoping you know I've had a great time in Florida and have loved
just about every second seeing all my family again. I've just also been a little burnt out.

"Be still an know I am God"
That's one of those verses that people have kind of over killed, but it's so beautiful and true.

Sometimes we just need to rest, and God offers that rest.

"Help me out here, I'm getting tired"
-The Cobalt Season (I know I quote them nonstop)

-Jonathan

Ecclesiastes

Ecclesiastes is probably one of my favorite books in the bible.

I started reading it because I caught these words in the header:

"Everything is Meaningless"

Quite a header for a book all about having hope in God.

But if you've been reading my blogs or heard me talk about life, you'll

probably realize I kind of feel this way really often about life.

Anyways,  this book basically reflects this idea:

-Why work just to eat? We'll just be hungry again.

-Why look for pleasure? It'll only last for the moment.

-Why try to make your name great? You'll be forgotten someday.

These are the questions I find myself asking in my spare time.

And the answers are disturbing.

I mean seriously think about this for five minutes and see if you get overwhelmed.

Why do we do the things we do?

Why do we value school education or how people perceive you?

Nobody will care about your grades or that stupid thing you did when you're ninety and dead in the ground along with the person that thought poorly of you.

Before you get tired of reading all of this:

      Know this isn't another hopeless post!

Read Ecclesiastes 5:7

"Much dreaming and many words are meaningless.

Therefore, stand in awe of God."

There you have it. Stand in awe of God.

It's all meaningless. So what is there left worth doing?

Stand in awe of God.

Live for the only thing that gives meaning and hope.

Not things of selfishness and shame.

"What benefit did you reap at the time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness and the result is eternal life."

-Romans 6:21-22 

It's been too long since the last time I've been inspired by the bible.

I think Ryan helped with that by simply teaching from it.

-Jonathan

Adulthood

Whenever kids are growing up, it seems they want to all be one of three things:

A policeman.

A fireman.

A doctor.

These three things have one thing in common:

Helping others.

Out of every kid that wanted to do that, how many live it out?

At what point does the world suck out the hope

that we can make a difference?

That there's more?

I see it almost every day. People living for less. People settling.

That terrifies me.

"Because you were meant for...amazing things..."

  -Sleeping at Last

-Jonathan

Content

Sorry about that last post. As much as I think that's true, basically last week I let all of the bitterness about everything I had spill out into a great depression. It was pretty bad, not gunna lie. 

           But-

I worked it out and talked to God and I feel better about it all. :)

 It's always nice feeling better after not feeling good at all.

Kind of like after being sick-you always feel way better, when in reality you just are back to normal, if you think about about it.

       Anyways, I'm back on my feet again walking!

Today, I was really thirsty after singing at SLAM, so I got some water. When I went out, I  saw David and Kate, so I talked to them instead of hearing Aaron's talk. 

They talked a lot on their future, and honestly, it makes me feel better that they don't even know the exact direction they're taking when they're a few years older than me. But they know they want to be in ministry.

Which is kind of crazy, for me really-Ministry I mean.        

Like I always think of my future and I'm like: 

      "I want to serve God for a living, but I don't know if ministry is for me."

That's kind of an oxymoron because serving God for a living basically is ministry. 

And you're probably like "Jonathan, you're retarded for not considering that earlier," and I'm like "You're right, but I don't really care because I finally figured it out!" :P

       (and not retarded, I mean stupid, because it's not nice to call retarded people retarded because that's not very nice because some people are really retarded and can't help it).

Anyways, so I guess I've been looking into ministry my whole life and never knew it! 

                   Crazy, huh?

Jake said I could intern with them if I wanted, after I graduate. Actually, I'll be kind of a not-intern at Shift in a few months leading worship and helping out developing SHIFT students develop into worship leaders. 

I'm getting really excited about that, but still learning how to do it all first.

It's times like this I'm actually excited about my future. 

    And so what if I don't know about school or what to study yet.

        I'll worry about all that when it's time(or when I freak out again)-

but for NOW I will be CONTENT.

-Jonathan