Junior

Man.
Junior year sucked.
Big time.

I think the only thing that really went right was that I passed math.
But honestly, I really could care less at this point.

I just feel like everything I poured my heart into were the things that failed.

I mean, good things happened to be sure. It is just that the bad overweighs it so
much more to me.

Still, the thing I have to learn is that no matter what I think, this year was a gift from God.
It was more than I deserved, to be sure.

It is like that hymn:
Whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say it is well with my soul.

It doesn't make make me feel like much is well with my soul, though.

Hopefully this summer will be good.
I have a lot to do...But I lack much inspiration to do it.

I guess I am trying to appreciate the year...but I don't.

I wish I could fix things, but I can't.

Jonathan

Wishes

I wish there was something I could do,
but it always takes two.

Porcupine

For the past five; almost six years now,
You haven't once looked at me with kindness in your eyes;
And you say Judas is a brother of mine?
Oh, but sister in our darkness a light shines!
And all I ever want to say for the rest of my life,
Is how that light is GOD!

And through I've been mistaken on this or that point,
That light is God.

It has been forever since I have listened to Brother, Sister.
But I kind of have felt that way this year.
Like nothing good has really lasted, but nevertheless in darkness
God is light.
And that is all I want to say for the rest of my life...
though I have been severely mistaken at times, that light
has never ceased to be God.

I just sometimes wish my mistakes weren't so costly.
But I suppose sin does have consequence.
Life. What a double edged sword it is.

In other news, the EP is coming along pretty well. We are slowly picking away at it.
I think at this rate we can do one song a practice and be done with it in about 4 or 5 more practices.
The rest will just be up to me finding time to mix and edit everything. I am really excited about it.

Thanks for all being my friends. I know every one of you(reading this) is someone I love dearly. I can honestly say I really appreciate you being in my life.

Much love,

Jonathan

Music

How will people know I am forgiven when I never feel it?
How will people know I am free when I never live it?

How on Earth will I live when I never feel alive?
Except once. Recently, that is.

There was something about sitting in my basement.
With Chris. Spring Break.
Playing music simply because we love it.

I think I freaked him out because I gave him a weird smile. :P
I couldn't help it, though. I just felt alive for the first time in ages.

And its not like we were practicing for anything in particular.
It was just fun. Peaceful.

Music one of the only gifts God has given me that I haven't lost yet.
I pray that never happens.

But, if worse comes to worse, I still have his grace.
That's not so bad either. :)

There is talk of Jason and me going to SAE together in Atlanta. We may perhaps even go to Europe to backpack beforehand. That would be great. But SAE more so. I would love to be with Jason. We both need to figure out what is next. Might as well find out together, I say. :)

Jonathan

Ouch

So Kelsey just broke up with me.

Lovely.

Nothing feels better than putting 110% into something only to be rejected.

My heart was damaged enough, so might as well destroy what was left.


In other news the new mwoY album is really good...

Jonathan

Shining

So the band and I officially started working on our Summer project:
Our first EP!

I must admit, pushing for doing this in a proper way was kind of agitating at first.
I was trying to convince them to use Logic in my basement to do the recording, but
they were insistent on using their track recorder. Now, they had some okay recordings
on this, but like one of the band members later said, It is like offering a million dollars to a
homeless person only for them to be content with being homeless. We spent the whole Friday
recording from about 5 to 10, and final mixing/bouncing around 12:45. Overall I think it is a
great start. While we were not shooting for the 100% quantized(machine perfect) sound, I still
feel that everything felt tight, but still very human.
After listening to his vocal, our lead singer(the most skeptical) was completely sold.

I am really excited about this project! :)

Check it out at www.myspace.com/thedrifts4
It is titled Shining Eyes(compare it to the other songs and let me know what you honestly think)

Jonathan

Break

Spring Break was like a calm battle.

I have felt more relaxed and more alive this week than I can remember feeling in a LONG time.

It probably had to do a ton with the fact I spent a lot of it writing and playing music with my friends. Honestly, few things on earth make me feel so happy. So ALIVE and FREE.

I felt like this is how I want to wake up every day. Call up a friend or two. Write some songs. Make something in 5/4 that transitions into 4/4 just for the heck of it. Record something for fun. Find out you are playing at the Warehouse in two weeks without prior notice.
I loved just about every second of it.

And yet there was the battle.
I have struggled more with porn/masturbation the past two weeks than I have in about a year or so.

It was scary.
I was terrified that it would become a habit again...but thank God it has not. Yet.
Be praying for that if you would like.

I also think I was able to sit down and evaluate the way I treated people...Mostly Kelsey, if you want to know the truth.
Not that I think I treat her poorly, but I always think there is room for improvement :)

Oh, and back to music, The Hazards of Love by the Decemberists came out.
One word: Inspiring
Now if I could get more people to appreciate its glory with me.
And the new mewithoutYou CD is coming out!!! Check out their new song on their myspace.

I hope you all are doing well,
Jonathan

PS check out these videos:
http://vimeo.com/1713668
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-NOZU2iPA8 (I am playing this at the Warehouse apparently :P )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9V4Zn85rnI (There are a few of these!)