Dream

I know I just posted two days ago, but I felt like I should write this down.

So the idea of dreaming has been following me around for the past two days,

and I like to imagine stuff like that isn't a coincidence.

On Sunday I was still really distraught about my whole future thing and my thought life was pretty infested with it. I was basically miserable whenever I wasn't doing anything and had time to think about it.

So anyways, at church there was a band that played called Fade into Focus(they're pretty good), and they were talking about dreaming big and moving in the direction of where your dreams were. I went up to talk to some of the guys playing-Cameron and Preston for a few-cool guys.

Today I was at school and my math  teacher has all of these random posters that are actually pretty genuinely encouraging. I saw one today in the back of the room I hadn't seen before-it said "Move confidently in the direction of your dreams". 

Kind of  crazy really.

When I got home I was doing a bible study based on the Vision poem and it talked about having dreams, but doing more than having dreams. A huge part of it is actually acting on my dreams and passions.  

All of this was really encouraging to me and really gave me a lot of peace that God  knows what he's doing. And I know that he knows what he's doing, but it helps to be reminded of it. 

In the mean time, I'll just be pursuing my dreams and passions :)

-Jonathan

Today

Earlier this week I ended up getting kind of down 

because I was thinking about my future and what all I wanted to do with it.

         I have so much passion I don't know what to do with it.

I love God, music, the homeless, and recently, people.

(The whole learning that I love people thing is kind of  cool).

Anyways,

So I have all of these passions and desires, but I don't really know where I want to go with it.

 I could see myself doing a ministry thing, but is that really for me?

I would love to do the music thing, but am I good enough to live off of it?

Can I get a job working with the homeless or people that pays enough for the rent?

I don't really know.

But sitting around worrying about it won't help my situation.

I need to live today and pursue my passions today.

God has plans to prosper me and not to harm me.

I just sometimes wish I knew what those plans were now.

But then again...

Where would be the adventure in that?

-Jonathan

Duty

Last weekend I was able to go to Shift Fall Camp and hang out with middle schoolers and I must be honest...

I kind of freaking loved it!

It was really cool just to get to know Travis and spend time with Sam and love on those guys simply because I love them. 

If that makes sense...

But there was one keyboard lead song that I was doing with Kelsey that I had never heard until three days before I had to play it. It's called Captivated, but I nicknamed it Hellsong. 

Basically I was trying to sit down and learn this piece and something wasn't connecting between my brain and my fingers or something because I could NOT sit down and play through the whole properly. But I had to be able to play it.

I'm the keyboard guy, right? It's just what I do.

What I'm saying is that I ended up losing sight of the song as something to worship God with as and replaced it with my duty to perform this song. 

That's a scary place to be.

Once I made that connection it ended up pulling together and it's actually a pretty fun piece. I was talking to Donna Hach about it and she had an interesting thought...

What if I wasn't able to learn the song because I wasn't worshiping him with it?

Could be true.

I think God expects us to put forth effort in to what we do, and hands us responsibilities. 

I also think God expects us to do it for him-something eternal. (John 6:27)

-Jonathan

(Thanks for the pic Andy)

Yo Soy Muy Artistico.

Hola el boyos!

I will every once in a while feel inspired to do a little photoshopping.

Just thought I'd post some of my most recent stuff! 

This is a mock-CD cover.

I've been trying pretty hard to be good again...

Sometimes I think I can be a jerk.

       And I know all of my adoring blog fans are thinking:

"Jonathan, you're so smart and deep-how could you possibly be a jerk?"

Okay you weren't thinking that, but I was.

But really. 

        When I look at myself, I figure I'm genuinely a pretty nice guy overall.

But there's this part of me where I get in moods where I'm kind of sarcastic and blunt, and every once in a while I think it rubs someone the wrong way.

Like today I was in one of those moods and my family was just kind of like...Seriously?

It mostly makes my mom upset I think because she's very 'tone sensitive' towards the things I say.

Part of me thinks that it has to do with the fact I've always been this way, but it came out more after I became more open with who I was.

I don't know if it's a bad thing or not. I think it can be sometimes, but I don't mean it to be or want it to.

I'm not sitting here bashing myself, but I am just posting my thoughts on things.

Anyways, I've decided I tend to have kind of extremes of being really sarcastic and loud and whatnot or really quiet, soft-spoken and serious.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but it gets frustrating every once in a while.

Goodness

So for Language Arts we have to make a bag and put things on it that represent ourselves.

So I was like...Do I represent peace? That's a good quality to have. 

Then I got to thinking...do I really believe in peace?

Because it's like, I know there won't ever peace as long the world is the way it is.

That's the truth.

And it's been that way for thousands of years.

So really what's the point in in standing for peace?

So I randomly ended up reading a quote from Lord of the Rings that day.

Frodo was talking to Sam about what the point about this was and wanted quit.

Sam told him that they were holding on to something important-like the people from their childhood stories. What were they holding on to?

"There is still some good left in this world...and it's worth fighting for."

That's the truth.

In fact, it's more true than what I said was true before this.

Maybe I should stop being so pessimistic sometimes.

But then again, maybe I should actually evaluate what I believe and what I stand for.

Peace is something worth fighting for.

-Jonathan

It may not look like a sunrise, but it's a new day!

Today's the first day I haven't had anything scheduled or planned to do since...

A while before Costa Rica.

I know part of me needs it, but I kind of hate having a day of doing nothing.

                The idea makes me feel so lazy.

As much as I love movies, I can't help but look at the reality of it-

   I'm basically staring at a wall with a big light on it for two and a half hours.

So basically I've been sort of dreading today...

    But I was reading Ecclesiastes today and sure enough I read this:

"So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in the work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun."

(Ecc 8:15)

Maybe I need today.

Maybe I've been working and going all Summer and I need a day.

Maybe.

-Jonathan