Careful

You are gonna change your mind someday
So just let go of all your thoughts on tomorrow
You may find your bearings in disarray
Though you may lead and trip and fall and follow

And all that you thought black will be proved red
Full of life and complication and sorrow
And all that you thought white was in your head
For life is lived in the shadows that we borrow

And I’ll look far, but may see nothing
And I will thirst, but may not drink
And I will yell to those behind me
“Careful not to draw your maps in pen and ink”

The same road disappears up ahead
Will you ever understand this equation?
The compass in your hand is all but dead
Time to feel your way around this evasion

Read the words again, for you might see
Life where you saw death, a way to your salvation
Best to lay down what you thought was certainty
Freedom’s found in the in that calmed frustration

And I will strain to find a pattern
And hold my breath ’till I’m on the brink
And I will yell to those behind me
“Careful not to draw your maps in pen and ink”

You are gonna change your mind someday
Just let go of all your thoughts...

Careful Not to Draw Your Maps in Pend and Ink

By: The Cobalt Season

Learn

So Wednsday we had the college fair.
Which is equivilent to a depression fair for me.
Basically it consisted of me following Kelsey around as
she looked for school and me writing a song about how I don't
know what I want to do with my life.

College has always been kind of a tough subject for me.
It's always been hard for me to see light in it.
So I basically went through the school day pretty depressed with
all of that jazz on my mind.

Then I came to Shift early and talked to Jake, and for the first time...
I didn't feel alone when it came to college.
He was able to kind of give me an insight on what his experience was like-
not really knowing what he wanted, what a music education looked like etc.

It's hard for me to express with words how it made me feel though, because
I don't feel like this is doing justice to it.

I mean the idea of school has always just brought me down time after time after time.

And for fifteen or twenty minutes I felt...okay with it.
I felt like it's something I might be able to handle.
I felt like God had a plan for me(Plans to prosper me, not to harm me).
I guess I'll post my song(It's probably still rough since I haven't written music with it yet).

Song Idea:

Chorus:
I don't know
where the hell
I'm supposed to go
No I don't know
where it is
that you would have me go

Verse 1:
You never said it'd be easy
But did you ever say it'd be hard?
The road I've gone's made me weary,
but I see a light at the end of it all.

But still...

(Chorus)

Verse 2:
I've tried so hard to see clearly
And you've worked so hard for my trust.
When the future I hold shines so bleakly
It's to you that I give all my hope

But still...

(Chorus)

Bridge:
The world around me's running
toward shining goals
to leave me in the dust
God am I stuck here-doomed to rust

(Chorus 2x)

Blow

I just got back from FBRT.

  So many good memories.

Just thought I'd write about one in particular.

I was just hanging out the other night and decided for whatever

to go to the beach. 

Incredible.

Breathtaking.

The wind was blowing more fierce than I had ever felt wind blow.

The time I was just able to be silent was exhilarating.

I even went as far as to dance and sing in the sand.

It was just you and me.

-Jonathan

Dream

I know I just posted two days ago, but I felt like I should write this down.

So the idea of dreaming has been following me around for the past two days,

and I like to imagine stuff like that isn't a coincidence.

On Sunday I was still really distraught about my whole future thing and my thought life was pretty infested with it. I was basically miserable whenever I wasn't doing anything and had time to think about it.

So anyways, at church there was a band that played called Fade into Focus(they're pretty good), and they were talking about dreaming big and moving in the direction of where your dreams were. I went up to talk to some of the guys playing-Cameron and Preston for a few-cool guys.

Today I was at school and my math  teacher has all of these random posters that are actually pretty genuinely encouraging. I saw one today in the back of the room I hadn't seen before-it said "Move confidently in the direction of your dreams". 

Kind of  crazy really.

When I got home I was doing a bible study based on the Vision poem and it talked about having dreams, but doing more than having dreams. A huge part of it is actually acting on my dreams and passions.  

All of this was really encouraging to me and really gave me a lot of peace that God  knows what he's doing. And I know that he knows what he's doing, but it helps to be reminded of it. 

In the mean time, I'll just be pursuing my dreams and passions :)

-Jonathan

Today

Earlier this week I ended up getting kind of down 

because I was thinking about my future and what all I wanted to do with it.

         I have so much passion I don't know what to do with it.

I love God, music, the homeless, and recently, people.

(The whole learning that I love people thing is kind of  cool).

Anyways,

So I have all of these passions and desires, but I don't really know where I want to go with it.

 I could see myself doing a ministry thing, but is that really for me?

I would love to do the music thing, but am I good enough to live off of it?

Can I get a job working with the homeless or people that pays enough for the rent?

I don't really know.

But sitting around worrying about it won't help my situation.

I need to live today and pursue my passions today.

God has plans to prosper me and not to harm me.

I just sometimes wish I knew what those plans were now.

But then again...

Where would be the adventure in that?

-Jonathan

Duty

Last weekend I was able to go to Shift Fall Camp and hang out with middle schoolers and I must be honest...

I kind of freaking loved it!

It was really cool just to get to know Travis and spend time with Sam and love on those guys simply because I love them. 

If that makes sense...

But there was one keyboard lead song that I was doing with Kelsey that I had never heard until three days before I had to play it. It's called Captivated, but I nicknamed it Hellsong. 

Basically I was trying to sit down and learn this piece and something wasn't connecting between my brain and my fingers or something because I could NOT sit down and play through the whole properly. But I had to be able to play it.

I'm the keyboard guy, right? It's just what I do.

What I'm saying is that I ended up losing sight of the song as something to worship God with as and replaced it with my duty to perform this song. 

That's a scary place to be.

Once I made that connection it ended up pulling together and it's actually a pretty fun piece. I was talking to Donna Hach about it and she had an interesting thought...

What if I wasn't able to learn the song because I wasn't worshiping him with it?

Could be true.

I think God expects us to put forth effort in to what we do, and hands us responsibilities. 

I also think God expects us to do it for him-something eternal. (John 6:27)

-Jonathan

(Thanks for the pic Andy)

Yo Soy Muy Artistico.

Hola el boyos!

I will every once in a while feel inspired to do a little photoshopping.

Just thought I'd post some of my most recent stuff! 

This is a mock-CD cover.