I've been trying pretty hard to be good again...

Sometimes I think I can be a jerk.

       And I know all of my adoring blog fans are thinking:

"Jonathan, you're so smart and deep-how could you possibly be a jerk?"

Okay you weren't thinking that, but I was.

But really. 

        When I look at myself, I figure I'm genuinely a pretty nice guy overall.

But there's this part of me where I get in moods where I'm kind of sarcastic and blunt, and every once in a while I think it rubs someone the wrong way.

Like today I was in one of those moods and my family was just kind of like...Seriously?

It mostly makes my mom upset I think because she's very 'tone sensitive' towards the things I say.

Part of me thinks that it has to do with the fact I've always been this way, but it came out more after I became more open with who I was.

I don't know if it's a bad thing or not. I think it can be sometimes, but I don't mean it to be or want it to.

I'm not sitting here bashing myself, but I am just posting my thoughts on things.

Anyways, I've decided I tend to have kind of extremes of being really sarcastic and loud and whatnot or really quiet, soft-spoken and serious.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but it gets frustrating every once in a while.

Goodness

So for Language Arts we have to make a bag and put things on it that represent ourselves.

So I was like...Do I represent peace? That's a good quality to have. 

Then I got to thinking...do I really believe in peace?

Because it's like, I know there won't ever peace as long the world is the way it is.

That's the truth.

And it's been that way for thousands of years.

So really what's the point in in standing for peace?

So I randomly ended up reading a quote from Lord of the Rings that day.

Frodo was talking to Sam about what the point about this was and wanted quit.

Sam told him that they were holding on to something important-like the people from their childhood stories. What were they holding on to?

"There is still some good left in this world...and it's worth fighting for."

That's the truth.

In fact, it's more true than what I said was true before this.

Maybe I should stop being so pessimistic sometimes.

But then again, maybe I should actually evaluate what I believe and what I stand for.

Peace is something worth fighting for.

-Jonathan

It may not look like a sunrise, but it's a new day!

Today's the first day I haven't had anything scheduled or planned to do since...

A while before Costa Rica.

I know part of me needs it, but I kind of hate having a day of doing nothing.

                The idea makes me feel so lazy.

As much as I love movies, I can't help but look at the reality of it-

   I'm basically staring at a wall with a big light on it for two and a half hours.

So basically I've been sort of dreading today...

    But I was reading Ecclesiastes today and sure enough I read this:

"So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in the work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun."

(Ecc 8:15)

Maybe I need today.

Maybe I've been working and going all Summer and I need a day.

Maybe.

-Jonathan